Opening the new door

I am so scared. My nine years of grammar school are done. Tomorrow will be the day when the rest of my life starts and after I got my certificate, no one (except for my parents) will force me to study. No one will tell me what to do with my future. And that's what scares me most. 

What if I succes to mess it all up?

What if I'll just get tired of trying? 

What if I don't find my place when all options are open? 

I am also really confused. Because in the other hand I find the start of summer vacation awesome. It's nice to be free and not to stress about school stuff. And it's nice to take it easy and just relax. But in the second hand I find the future too open and a bit scary. And I find the past bit too good place to leave right one.

These last three years of middle school have gone too fast for me. I would be more than happy to spend one more year with my lovely, great and crazy class. But since that's not an options I'll raise my head to the sun and force myself to see the good in my future. 

Tomorrow is my last change to make memories with those people I have loved and hated. Tomorow is my last change to show that deep down I like it in my school. And tommorrow I will do both. 

                      

                                   I hope you all will have great future ahead of you.

                                        Kisses, hugs and few tears too, Eve X(oxo)

Bestfriends are forever

Do you have someone in your life who's above all others? 

If you do, do you remember to remind her/him about that? I think I don't at least not too often. 

So this post is written for my bestfriend, my only one, my one above all others. 

We met ages ago when we were less than two years old. I guess it was like love at the first sight. Not that I could remember it. We have basically always been bestfriends. And before I used to remind her how much she means to me every once in a while but now I think I haven't done that in ages and I feel kind of guilty. I think that I have been there for her as much as I can and so has she but sometimes it's good to clothe your feelings and actions in to words. It's like an implicit agreement that we defend and help each other when needed. 

It's really important for everybody to have someone you can count on and share all your secrets with. Sadly everybody doesn't have that good of a friend and that's why I feel really lucky to have her by my side. We do fight and all sometimes but we always forgive each other quickly. 

This blog have been my secret from everyone even from my her. And now I will tell her that this blog exist. Scary as fuck! I hope she reads at least this post through and identify herself. And I hope that she gets that she means the world to me and she really always comes first. (Also I hope that she won't reveal this blog to anyone else yet.) No one who knows me by my real name have ever read this blog. And I hope that anytime soon no one else than her will.

    Together we are stronger, Eve X(oxo)

Live the life you love

I had this very wierd kind of a flashback earlier today. All of a sudden I felt like listening to some songs I loved when I was younger, like over five years ago.

So now when I got home I started to listen to those. And those aren't that bad at all! Yes quite old and really worn out but still. Those brought so many awesome memories back to my mind. And even thought it's lovely to remember how my life was few years ago it kind of makes me want to cry. Because I can't have those times back. It's like all gone in a good and in a bad way. 

Have you ever thought how easy it really is to forget your past? 

Or not like totally forget but not to think about it for a long while? 

About your childhood memories and friends and so on. People just doesn't think about that staff too often. Everyone (or almoust everyone) lives in this day not in the past. Like I do. Which is good ofcourse. But sometimes it's nice to look back and remember everything. 

Just close your eyes for while and look back. Do it now and you may find yourself smiling. Past is an awesome escape sometimes but it's not a place to stay. That's something you need to keep in mind too. Because if you stay there too long you might get lost. 

                                         

                                       Love yourselfs now and forever, Eve X(oxo)